I have always told you why I was doing Chantal’s 2020 Weekly Challenge, but I never told you what motivated me to do it. I guess in a way, I lied to you.
I Might Have Lied to You
On December 21 2020, my boss told me that the project that I gave the last 5 years of my life for is closing in Lebanon. I had given priority to this project over my husband, over my family, over my pregnancy, I was pregnant with Twins and still stood training for days, when I started early labor before my 7th month, I gave this project priority, I was in a delivery room for 11 days and I was still giving this project my priority. Christy, my colleague at work, was coming over, I was signing checks, making plans, and directing the work.
Nurses would come in and ask me to sleep since I was on a strict bed rest and I would tell them that I still needed to send this one last email, sign this one last check and make this one last call. Nurses would ask Christy to leave the room so I could pee in bed, yes I couldn’t get out of bed and the day I delivered was a day off where I spent more than 8 hours working. One day after delivering I was up and working. One week after delivery I was in a training room.
I put the project first when my twins were in the NICU, I would be in a hospital room, pumping and still working.
I was managing this project and the moment I knew that the donor wanted to move the project to another country, I was devastated.
I felt dispensable, for all my career I had given loyalty above all to the project I was managing and this project was the best chance I was given to show my worth. I slept thinking of the project, I woke up thinking of this project, it was my blood, my salt and pepper.
The day my boss told me we were being shitted to another country, was after 1 year and a half of my son being on oxygen for being born early, prematurely, because I didn’t listen to the doctor nor my husband and rested.
Now what?!
Have I wasted all these years, the sleepless nights, the hospital days, the NICU days, for nothing?
At first, I was still in denial and thought that I didn’t care.
After some self reflection, I realised that the problem was in my priorities and my action and no one else’s. No one told me to put my work first, I was hired because I did a good job and that’s that. The problem was in my decision making and in setting my priorities.
After reflection and thought, and after realizing that my family should have been my priority all over the way.
For that matter, I decided to take it slow in 2020 and to start something on my own that will help me manage my time in a more intentional way and not in a more productive way.
Since I was blogging for more than 10 years now and training for half as much, I knew that I needed to focus on my training and coaching work since I knew that I was indispensable there.
And since now I had kids and life as I knew it was different, I decided to focus on the moment and live week by week for I don’t know what tomorrow brings.
I also decided that this year would be my year, the year where I focus on myself, my development and my so-called new career.
That’s how Chantal’s 2020 Weekly Challenge was born. I wanted to improve my year, one week at a time and that I know for sure that you know by now!
Today we celebrate the half year birthday for the challenge.
This year has been pivotal, I didn’t expect COVID19, I didn’t expect a crisis in Lebanon, but despite all these the challenge strived and has seen more light than I was expecting it to see.
We started having morning coffee together, I started a podcast, inviting guest speakers, and giving back to the community as I have always done.
As we celebrate our half birthday I am celebrating my maturity and growth too.
The challenge will continue, now better than before because I can devote all my time to it, not just my free time.
As we take this week to celebrate, I ask you to take a look at your life and think about your priorities. Don’t wait for a wake up call to remind you what you should be doing with your time and who you should be prioritizing.
Make a list of your priorities and remember that you are one to the world for some, but for others, you are the world.
Live more intentional and not more productive!
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